Eyes Wide Open

 What a pleasant, radiant, peaceful and rewarding day off it is...In a day like this, we must have our eyes wide open, lest we miss tiny miracles and surprises God has placed for our amazement, wonder, awe and inspiration.

How wonderful are unassuming leaves taking early bath in a morning dew... How gorgeous are little flowers waking up from a night slumber and stretching out to the morning sun... I call upon St. Francis of Assisi, the Saint Patron of my ordination class to praise with me the One who made all His creatures...

Saint Francis’ Canticle of All Creatures

Most High, all-powerful, all-good Lord,
All praise is Yours, all glory, all honour and all blessings.
To you alone, Most High, do they belong,
and no mortal lips are worthy to pronounce Your Name.

Praised be You my Lord with all Your creatures,
especially Sir Brother Sun,
Who is the day through whom You give us light.
And he is beautiful and radiant with great splendour,
Of You Most High, he bears the likeness.

Praised be You, my Lord, through Sister Moon and the stars,
In the heavens you have made them bright, precious and fair.

Praised be You, my Lord, through Brothers Wind and Air,
And fair and stormy, all weather’s moods,
by which You cherish all that You have made.

Praised be You my Lord through Sister Water,
So useful, humble, precious and pure.

Praised be You my Lord through Brother Fire,
through whom You light the night
and he is beautiful and playful and robust and strong.

Praised be You my Lord through our Sister,
Mother Earth who sustains and governs us,
producing varied fruits with coloured flowers and herbs.
Praise be You my Lord through those who grant pardon
for love of You and bear sickness and trial.
Blessed are those who endure in peace,
By You Most High, they will be crowned.

Praised be You, my Lord through Sister Death,
from whom no-one living can escape.
Woe to those who die in mortal sin!
Blessed are they She finds doing Your Will.
No second death can do them harm.

Praise and bless my Lord and give Him thanks,
And serve Him with great humility.

Heavenly Father,
You gave Your servant Francis
great love for each of Your creatures.
Teach us to see Your design in all of creation.
We ask this in Jesus’ Name. Amen.

All creatures great and small.....the Lord God made them all!

Veritatis Splendor

The topic of this reflection is very dear to my heart. Noble simplicity and beauty of Liturgy in the Catholic Church.

Holy Father Benedict XVI writes in his exhortation Sacramentum Caritatis these profound words: 'Like the rest of Christian Revelation, the liturgy is inherently linked to beauty: it is veritatis splendor'. (n.35) This thought corresponds directly to the Word of God from the Book of Psalms: 'In his presence are splendour and majesty, in his sanctuary power and beauty'. (Ps 96:6). The Psalmist sings not only of the beauty of the Lord’s resplendent dwelling, he exclaims that: 'every work that He does is full of splendour and beauty' (Ps 111:3).

I like what Archbishop Piero Marini, Master of Papal Liturgical Celebrations wrote in his document Liturgy and Beauty of 2002:

(quote)

2. The source of the liturgy’s beauty  
Is there a boundary between aesthetic emotion and an authentic sense of the spiritual? Is a beautiful liturgy one which satisfies the tastes of consumers? The liturgy is not a consumer good; it is not the Church’s supermarket! We know it is first and foremost the work of God, adoration, reception, bestowal. Hence we must ask ourselves what are the fundamental criteria for the beauty of the liturgy, apart from trends and tastes. It would be a great error simply to apply secular standards of aesthetic taste to the liturgy.

2.1. The liturgy, an act of Christ and the Church   
To understand the beauty of the liturgy we must begin with our understanding of the Church. The Church «in Christ is a kind of sacrament, that is a sign and instrument of intimate union with God and of the unity of all mankind » (LG 1). As a “sign” the Church is therefore able in some degree to render perceptible Christ, the sacrament of salvation. It is precisely from this sacramental nature that the sacraments in the strict sense are articulated. The sacrament, as an act of the Church, is also the act of Christ, since the Church is simply doing what Christ taught and commanded her to do: «Do this in memory of me» (Lk 22: 19). The Sacraments are channels through which Christ communicates to us his salvation: «When a man baptises it is really Christ himself who baptises» (SC 7). As Saint Leo the Great states: «That which was visible in Christ passed to the sacraments of the Church».[2] The liturgy is an act of Christ and his Church. It depends not so much on the intellectual sphere as on the principle of the Incarnation, and therefore evidently implies an aesthetic dimension. Our gestures during the liturgy are important because they are gestures of Jesus. In her liturgical celebration and the concrete gestures it requires, the Church is simply prolonging and actualising the Lord’s own gestures. Therefore, since liturgical gestures are gestures of Christ they have a beauty and aesthetic value of their own, apart from any additional or secondary beauty which we might strive to give them.

2.2. The noble simplicity of love  
The Gospels describe the human and concrete gestures of Jesus: he walks, he blesses, he touches, he heals, he mixes saliva and mud, he raises his eyes to heaven, he breaks the bread, he takes the cup. These are the gestures repeated in the celebration of the sacraments. But it was above all on the night of his passion that Jesus taught us the gestures that we too must perform. He is our master of liturgical education. His art consists in setting forth the essential in a few simple things. The meaning of the liturgy is revealed only through simplicity and sobriety. «He always loved those who were his own in the world. When the time came for him to be glorified by you his heavenly Father; he showed the depth of his love. While they were at supper he took bread, said the blessing, broke the bread, and gave it to his disciples saying […]. In the same way, he took the cup, filled with wine. He gave you thanks, and giving the cup to his disciples, said […] ».[3] What is it that made this act of the Lord so beautiful? The way the room was arranged? The way the table was prepared? Fine table linen? Certainly these things bring out its beauty, like a frame which enhances the beauty of a picture. Yet the real beauty lies in Jesus’ act of redeeming love: «he showed the depth of his love… he took bread». Here lies the beauty of his gesture. Repeating this action of Christ, and recognising in it her Lord’s love, the Church finds it beautiful. The liturgy’s aesthetic value, its beauty, depends primarily therefore not on art, but on the paschal mystery of love. If art is to collaborate with the liturgy it needs to be evangelised by love. The beauty of a Eucharistic celebration essentially depends not on the beauty of architecture, icons, decoration, songs, vestments, choreography and colours, but above all on the ability to reveal the gesture of love performed by Jesus. Through the gestures, words and prayers of the liturgy we strive to repeat and render visible the gestures, prayers and words of the Lord Jesus. This is what the Lord commanded: «Do this in memory of me».
The style of our liturgy should be simple and austere, as was the style of Jesus. In our celebrations, according to the Council Fathers, we must master of the art of «noble simplicity» (SC 34). (end of quote)

Richard Feynman (a Nobel laureate in physics) can say: "You can recognize truth by its beauty and simplicity". It follows, that God himself is quite simply Beauty.

Urs von Balthasar said: "We can be sure that whoever sneers at [Beauty] as if she were the ornament of a bourgeois past - whether he admits it or not - can no longer pray and soon will no longer be able to love" (GL 1, 18).

Cardinal George Pell, of Sydney, Australia, was keynote speaker at a conference on the liturgy held July 12-13, 2009 on Fota Island, Cork, Ireland. “Benedict XVI on Church Art and Architecture” was the topic of the conference. I reckon the findings of that conference (read here) very important and timely, also for me and for us in the Catholic Church in Tanzania.

Landing back in own courtyard I find this Swahili saying in Tanzania beautiful, profound and pinpoint correct: 'Anayetaka kusali vizuri, asali pazuri' (whoever wants to pray beautifully, should pray in a beautiful place).

I have always upheld this convinction in my priestly life and wherever I went, I tried my best to manifest the Beauty of God through architecture, art, music and beauty of liturgy.

Yesterday, when  I was celebrating Baptism Mass on Sunday of the Solemnity of the Most Holy Trinity, meditating on the mystery of Triune God, I was encompassed by thoughts of the Beauty of God and how important it is to translate this Beauty into the beauty of church architecture, music, liturgy, vestments, decorations and orderly manner of celebrating holy mysteries.

My senses were acutely aware how noble, simple and beautiful our yesterday liturgy was, how beautiful (relatively to what we experience around us here) is our church, its art, orderly manner of celebrating the holy mysteries. How we should be taken by the Holy Spirit to raise our hearts to the Beauty itself, who is God Almighty, One in Three Persons, in love, praise, adoration and joy...

Thank You, Who are the Beauty itself, for Your blessings which allowed us to build this holy shrine for you and celebrate You, Our God, in noble simplicity and beauty of the Liturgy of Your Holy Church...

1 + 1 + 1 = 1

Triune God gave us today a simple lesson of arithmetic. Well, not that simple, because no one in the whole history of the Holy Church can claim he or she knows exactly what he or she is talking about, in regards to this mystery of faith. Thousands of volumes have been published throughout the ages on this topic trying to solve this mystery and explain it to us, minnows, in human terms, pictures and ideas. So at least we have a vague idea Who is He - our God whom we are supposed to Love, Adore, Praise and life for...


The Solemnity of Most Holy Trinity we celebrate today gives us a simple equation as a challenge for our reason and our faith. Yes, faith, as reason, to be honest, has little, if not nothing at all, to do here and everything else we were taught in schools. How comes that One plus One plus One equals One? That's what the whole mystery of One God in Three Persons is all about and it is simplest presentation of this article of faith; one, if not the most, of the difficult articles of faith we have in the Catholic Church. 1 + 1 + 1 = 1. Period. Surely, with this Divine Equation you won't go far in our schooling systems, probably not futher that a couple of weeks in nursery class for babies.

Various people tried to explain this phenomenon in more comprehensible and acceptable terms. Three states of water - ice, water and steam. Then three leaves of shamrock (St. Patrick's alleged method of teaching this article of faith). And other efforts trying to bring us closer to the mystery of One God in Three Persons. God the Father, God the Son and God the Holy Spirit. And still One God...

I am a simple guy and like simple solutions. So, I do not try even to reason and ask myself - how comes? I simply say - God, I believe You... If you say so that this is Who You are, then this is Who You are in fact. And my human mind will never comprehend this mystery. I do not even try... Because, the moment I will claim that I understood it, You will cease to be True God and will become a golden bull at the feet of the Holy Mountain. You will no longer be God, but I will have created my god to my liking and my ability to comprehend things and mysteries in this world. And this is exactly what most people would do in their dealings with difficult articles of faith. They would twist them to their liking and ability of thinking and comprehending. Others will reject them altogether, and other, but few I suspect, will go ahead in blind faith.

I abhor gods of my making. I have a lot of them already who try to take Your place since early years of my life. I will not reason and argue and doubt, because You are the Truth and Life and Light, You are my Everything. You revealed to us that You are One God in Three Persons and I accept it without a shadow of doubt, because You are God and I am Your creation, and I can only understand as much as my human brain can accept in its limitations. Only so much...Like a helpless bottle facing the vast stretch of Lake Victoria which I can see from the top Divine Mercy Hill here in Kiabakari, especially in evening hours, glittering on the horizon like a New Jerusalem, inviting me to its premises...Helpless, cause it knows that it cannot contain the whole water of the Lake...Only so much as it can hold, just a few drops...And this is me, trying to comprehend the mystery of Triune God and the Divine Equation: 1 + 1 + 1 = 1.

I have been baptized in Your Name, my Triune God. I have just finished this morning the Holy Mass with baptisms of 65 school kids who I baptized in Your Triune Name. They, as myself, have just entered the mysterious world of faith. In this world our human senses, reason and comprehension are of little use. We, as 2 Corinthians 5:7 teaches us - "Walk By Faith, Not By Sight"...The day of our Baptism we entered a world of faith, in which thick fog of mystery covers everything. We believe You are there, in this fog, just as You were in the cloud on top of Tabor mountain when Jesus transfigured in the presence of His three disciples, and they were encompassed by the cloud in which You spoke to them...

We find ourselves in the same cloud, in the same fog on the day of our Baptism. We must abandon our reasoning, we must embrace Your logic and arithmetic of grace and salvation. We must forget about 1 + 1 + 1 + = 3 and accept than in fact the result is 1. We must abandon our greed and accept Your divine economics that by giving we are in fact receiving, by showing mercy in fact we are even more so touched by mercy.

We must abandon our selfishness and individualism, and embrace the community, cause trying to walk alone in our Catholic faith we will get lost in this fog.

In this fog of faith, the only way to get through safely and not get lost in it, is to hold Jesus' hand. But He usually extends His hand through others. So, if I want to get through my Christian life safely and live a worthy life, I need to find a guide who knows the way. This is my Holy Mother Church and in Her - holy, wise, prudent and experienced fellow Christians whom God puts on our path of life, no doubt about it. I need to get hold of them, I need to hold their hands and ask them to lead me and guide me. Be it a bishop, priest, nun, my parent, sibling, neighbor, friend... I will know who exactly that person or these persons are, if I ask You to show me them in sincere prayer...

For sure each one of us, if only we look with open eyes, will notice those God-sent sentinels and guides who are here to lead us through safely...

And finally, when my life comes to its end, the fog will be lifted in front of my eyes...

I will see and experience what St. Paul described, simply out of lack of proper words in human language and in human limits of comprehension: "No eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind has conceived what God has prepared for those who love him" (1 Cor 2:9)

And then, in a split second burst of divine light, everything will become so simple and obvious...

Night Theme

Helena, your suggestion to consider Van Gogh's 'Starry Night' triggered stream of memories and emotions woven around night theme... I consider myself as a night hawk, who barely sleeps and respects night time as a creative time, full of unexpected twists and turns, unlike a daytime job. I will talk more on this later on this blog as night work, night experiences, night mental and emotional journeys are my world, dear to my heart, fascinating, scary, calling...

Here is your painting, Helena...If not those European type houses, I could consider it as an awesome presentation of African night sky. So many times I was left in awe, speechless, going out and looking up in stars and on other occasions admiring full moon fiercely blasting its lunar light like a pale veil falling over the sleeping landscape...

The term 'stars' made me to travel in my mind and heart to Prague, to Alphonce Mucha's museum in Czech Republic capital city (see also here - https://www.artsy.net/artist/alphonse-mucha). I still recall vividly my first and only (so far) visit to his museum a few years ago. His art is so naturally coming to my framework of art concept and sensitivity to beauty...I love his works, but among them 'The Four Stars' series is among top ones (the picture below is of poor quality - these posters are beautifully done in reality, with 'nightish' palette of colors)...

The Four Stars: The Moon, The Evening Star, The Polestar, The Morning Star -1902

And the all knowing Moon looking upon us over Kiabakari...

No Words...

Malaria not giving up and this nasty depression, that comes in a 'welcoming package' with it, keeps hold of me, filling my soul and mind... I don't like it, I resent it, but it simply won't go...things are moving around, people talking to me, I need to react and work, make decisions, trying to function somehow...but I'm absent...I'm somewhere else...

One of my favorite poem of all times comes to mind. I just feel like Giordano Bruno in times like this...can't find words to explain...can't find way to make communication and be understood... I don't like this...but I know I'm helpless and it won't help till malaria goes away and this condition of feeling 'down' along with it...

Bear with me while it lasts...


Campo dei Fiori by Czeslaw Milosz

In Rome on the Campo dei Fiori

baskets of olives and lemons,

cobbles spattered with wine

and the wreckage of flowers.

Vendors cover the trestles

with rose-pink fish;

armfuls of dark grapes

heaped on peach-down.

On this same square

they burned Giordano Bruno.

Henchmen kindled the pyre

close-pressed by the mob.

Before the flames had died

the taverns were full again,

baskets of olives and lemons

again on the vendors' shoulders.

I thought of the Campo dei Fiori

in Warsaw by the sky-carousel

one clear spring evening

to the strains of a carnival tune.

The bright melody drowned

the salvos from the ghetto wall,

and couples were flying

high in the cloudless sky.

At times wind from the burning

would drift dark kites along

and riders on the carousel

caught petals in midair.

That same hot wind

blew open the skirts of the girls

and the crowds were laughing

on that beautiful Warsaw Sunday.

Someone will read as moral

that the people of Rome or Warsaw

haggle, laugh, make love

as they pass by the martyrs' pyres.

Someone else will read

of the passing of things human,

of the oblivion

born before the flames have died.

But that day I thought only

of the loneliness of the dying,

of how, when Giordano

climbed to his burning

he could not find

in any human tongue

words for mankind,

mankind who live on.

Already they were back at their wine

or peddled their white starfish,

baskets of olives and lemons

they had shouldered to the fair,

and he already distanced

as if centuries had passed

while they paused just a moment

for his flying in the fire.

Those dying here, the lonely

forgotten by the world,

our tongue becomes for them

the language of an ancient planet.

Until, when all is legend

and many years have passed,

on a new Campo dei Fiori

rage will kindle at a poet's word.

Warsaw, 1943

  "The Scream". The National Gallery, Oslo, Norway

A Farewell To A Good Old Friend

Two days ago I mentioned in my post that I returned the old Landrover to the bishop and borrowed another car for my Sisters till we get a brand new one, if our vehicle request project succeeds.

I did not took this event lightly. The brevity of my note the other day can be misleading. To the contrary. I wanted to dedicate a separate post to my good old friend - a vehicle that served so many for so many years since its creation in 1986 in a factory somewhere in Europe.

Bishop Justin Samba, when in 2003 I requested a bigger car for my work in Musoma Cathedral (since we had only one Suzuki Samurai vehicle there, and she was too small for construction purposes and other longer safaris), instead of giving me a pickup truck as I asked, he gave me this old beat-up Landrover 110, which was parked in bishop's residence yard for some time, with smashed right mudguard (after an accident), peeling off paint and poor maintenance record. I took the car, drove her with trouble to the garage, repaired her completely - bodywork, paint, new carburetor, tires, seat fabric etc...

She served me quite well in Musoma and then in Kiabakari, when I came back here in November 2006.

This vehicle has a soul. And a very stubborn character. She was able to serve perfectly for periods of time, then all of a sudden stopped in the middle of the road for no apparent reason and drove me crazy trying to convince her to start the engine again! And the fuel consumption was just outrageous. She was so expensive to maintain (well, this is what I hear many times talking my my friends about their relationships with modern ladies)... Made in times when fuel prices were very sympathetic to customers' wallet, she guzzled one liter of petrol (not diesel) in 5-7 kilometers. When I played with nozzles, she choked going uphill and stopped. So I was forced to use her in short safaris, though I managed to drive her to Dar es Salaam and back, to Mwanza, and here in Mara Region to various places.

In 2008 I handed over the vehicle to Polish volunteers custody, who were administering our health center. They needed her more than me as I had Toyota Hilux I left in Kiabakari going to Musoma and found her on my way back still here in Kiabakari, though in very poor condition (huge effort of parishioners and myself to restore her to her beauty).

The vehicle continued to give them all sorts of trouble too. She showed her independence and character on many occassions. But still, they managed to use her for outreach program in Nyakiswa village, and sometimes this poor old chap of a vehicle was able to rush sick people to referral hospitals and saved their lives - like in the case of complicated deliveries, when mother needed to be transferred immediately to Butiama health center or Bunda hospital.

My good old friend served us well, yet with a stamp of her authority - she did what she wanted to do most of the time. And sometimes she showed us her donkey attitude - stubbornness and freedom to refuse to serve.

And yet, when the time came to bring her back to bishop's yard in Nyamiongo in Musoma (as the volunteers from Poland left and my sisters need more reliable car for the health center and their communal use as well, so we asked the bishop to lend us a used car, but better than this one), I felt immensely sad...It was like saying a farewell to a good old friend with whom we shared so many good and bad experiences, and that made our bond of friendship so close and lasting...

I want to share with you these last moments of being together with her. And her last voyage from Kiabakari to Musoma. And, of course, she couldn't fail to show us her attitude for the last time. So she stopped all of a sudden just 3 kilometers from bishop's place and refused to start the engine again. We needed to call for help of mechanics, and after begging her to agree to start the engine, she graciously came to life again and we were able to bring her finally to bishop's residence, from where I took her for the first date with me seven years ago. Our rocky relationship came to an official end. It was inevitable, yet still - so sad and heartbreaking...

A few pictures from our last journey together the day before yesterday to share with you this moment...

Farewell, my good old friend! Happy retirement!

An Extra Added Flavor

It's Friday again. A recollection day as usual in the shrine. With some extra added flavor. So many intention to pray for, so many heavy thoughts, so many unanswered questions. So much stress and frustration creeping in my soul.

I do not surrender. I know I must be patient with God and myself, and with people around me. I must pray and do not get tempted to ask God divine questions - when and how He will answer my prayers? These questions I will not ask Him. I have asked them before and got punished. These questions even Jesus Himself did not dare ask His Father.

So I keep faith and pray and endure this time of trial. Fridays are good windows of opportunity to exercise this attitude. And this is precisely what I do always on Fridays, and today is no exception.

But there is this extra added flavor. I woke up feeling sick today. One of the worst days in recent months. went for a sick call to Bibi Monica, attended to people in the office and started the recollection day with Lauds and Rosary, midday prayers and Angelus, now going for the Stations of the Way of the Cross. But today my own body is my worst enemy. Like a heavy cross that grows heavier and heavier with minutes passing by. And now I'm pretty sure malaria is coming thick and fast. Nausea already, can't have anything in my mouth. Depression - which is a standard feature of my malaria periods is encompassing my soul and psyche. I feel sad and lonely and worthless. How I know well this condition. Hopefully this malaria won't be as bad as last August, when I was out of equation for almost a month with depression at its highest and helplessness killing my soul. I was lucky to survive then. I dread the very thought of that horrible experience returning. But who knows?...

It would be most unfortunate to get sick seriously today when I have so many things to do yet, and tomorrow an important meeting of Lay Parish Council and exercise in the afternoon of Baptism Mass which will be on Sunday at 9am with school kids baptized in the Shrine.

I'll go and check blood for malaria right after the Stations of the Way of the Cross. If I manage to finish it with this nausea intensifying with every minute, arrrgh...

Thank you, o Lord, for this cross. This is the only personal gift I can offer to you - something out my body, soul or psyche. Something which is truly me. May this hammer the wall of impossible surrounding Kiabakari for so many months since the beginning of this year, where everything stuck and nothing is going forward in development of this place. Please, accept this gift. And bring down that hateful wall...Amen.

Blessed Among Women

That's how I felt all day long today.

Started the day, as usual, with prayers and Holy Mass in the shrine. With my sisters - of the Congregation of Little Servants of Mary Immaculate. Then breakfast together.

Right after that I drove 35 kilometers to Bunda to the only monastery in Tanzania of Cloistered Discalded Carmelite Sisters. I went there to hear sisters' confessions, as I've been doing since 2001 (with a short break of two years maybe when I was in Musoma Cathedral alone and couldn't cope with all things I had on my head that time). I feel I receive more than I am able to give...Of course, the Sacrament of Reconciliation is priceless, but what I mean is that spiritually I feel extremely enriched whenever I go there, to the Carmel. I thank God for this unique opportunity I was given, when Sisters asked Bishop Samba to appoint me as their regular confessor. I received so much through this service I cannot even explain. I feel blessed...

Rushed back to Kiabakari to pick up my Sisters and escort the old Landrover I was given by Bishop Samba back when I was in Musoma, then gave it to volunteers administering our health center. Since they are gone now, I decided to return the car to the bishop and borrow another one, used Toyota Hilux, but in much better shape than poor old Landrover.

In Musoma I met several sisters from different congregations - Ivrea Sisters, Franciscan Sisters, Immaculate Heart Sisters of Africa, even one Maryknoll Sisters from USA passed me by in her car.

Returned back to Kiabakari in time to get myself ready to go to Buturu, to Chief Wanzagi Secondary School. Sisters of the Resurrection invited me to celebrate the very first Mass in their house chapel. In the house I supervised its construction just recently. This celebration had a deep meaning to me...To be able to celebrate Holy Mass in the place that was just a dusty field a few months before was so rewarding and fantastic feeling!

Sisters were very hospitable and generous in their warm welcome. We had a beautiful Mass with reflection, spontaneous prayers and sense of belonging to each other as came from very far together and shared same experience as misionaries, in our struggles, failures and victories. To pray together in that place had a taste of achievement and victory.

Then lovely chat at the table, deepening that sense of togetherness and community. Great dinner accompanied the conversation. It felt so good to spend this memorable evening together with sisters in Buturu. I am very grateful that this way they wanted to celebrate my ordination anniversary as well. The lovely statue of Good Shepherd I was presented as a gift will remain with me as a visible reminder of this evening...

This day truly was day when I felt in a special way - blessed among women...

Murphy Law

Murphy Law. Who never heard about it?

Well. today was a textbook example of Murphy Law in action. Wait, I should not have written 'was', it actually is 4pm EAT and still huge chunk of time ahead of me till I wander around and find my bed. Who knows what still may happen to me this afternoon and tonight? It scares the s..t out of me big time.

Everything went wrong so far. Woke up with a mega headache which double Panadol could not chase away. Had to drive to Musoma to fight with Tanesco - power supply company - who yesterday sent their sentinels to cut me off from national power grid, as - allegedly - I refused to settle my bills. Yeah, right! If only I had those bills delivered to my post office box in fact! So they generously allowed me to entertain power and light and hot water in my shower, but I had to come to their office today to pay the bills. The gave me the exact amounts due.

So I drove with my sisters to town this morning. With annoying headache. First waypoint - NBC Ltd. bank in Musoma. Oh, how convenient - a parking place for my car in front of the bank. Great! It has been a big problem to find a space there. Entered the bank in a better mood. Wow! Almost nobody inside. Happiness in bucketloads now in my heart!

Sorry, bank network down. So, no balance statement, no withdrawal of cash, nothing. Till I was leaving Musoma at 1pm, there was still not a slightest sign of improvement.

Ok, no money, no honey!

Went to post office to check if my 'Avatar' movie on DVD arrived which I generously bought me for birthday present as the sale of DVDs was launched officially on April 22, 2010, the very day of my birthday.

No sign of DVD. Yeah, what should I expect? Actually, 7 days delivery guaranteed means nothing these days here. I should not complain.

Next stop - bishop's office, to see one of his secretaries responsible for immigration issues. I wanted to check if we really need a residence permit for a volunteer coming for field work to Kiabakari for six months only. I hoped we wouldn't need, just an extended visa would suffice.

Wrong again. We need residence permit - for one year. And it can be done only in Dar es Salaam. And probably she will get her residence permit the day she leaves Tanzania going back to Poland, judging the speed of bureaucracy in those offices...

Next waypoint - Tanesco offices. I was wrong again allowing in my mind a tiniest hope of having my bills corrected. Nope, I have to pay in full, they showed all records and argued. Ah, well...I have decided already that as soon as possible I will switch to LUKU type meters (LUKU - Lipa Umeme Kadiri Unavyotumia; Pay Electricity As You Use). Instead of reading meter, one buys a voucher with combination of numbers, punches them down on the dial on the meter and it shows how much kWh you have just entered. When you use power till 0.00 units, then it shuts you down and cuts off the power. With mobile phone services - when you can buy power units with messages, it is very handy and you have kind of control of your usage of power.

So, I have to drive back to Musoma tomorrow, to bank to get the money and pay for those nasty bills...

When I finally got back home, I got a message from a very good friend of mine with depressing news. Oh, well...What should I expect today? Good news? No way!

Still so many hours till midnight...What will go wrong still today? If I post anything tomorrow, it will mean I survived.

I tend to suspect that this year my life is like the situation depicted in one of these sentences above:

'The light at the end of the tunnel is the headlamp of an oncoming train'

Hope I'm wrong.

Sights and Sounds of Kiabakari

Check these photos - taken just a while ago on my way to church to fight with swarms of bees trying to get hold of the temple.

 I could not miss the evening voices of Kiabakari too. This noise is deafening! You can't even see those little insects making so much noise. It is more impressing than a Formula 1 car screaming by in full speed! Amazing! Just listen to this (if too slow, try this link...

Holy Bureaucracy

Tuesdays are my regular office days. Of course, there are some seasonal or temporary alterations to this rule (due to planned meetings, events, travels and so on). Still, I try to be faithful to this schedule in order to ensure my people that whenever they come from far, from remote outstations looking for me or with some office business to deal with - they find me on Tuesdays home.

Today is no exception to this rule. I'm home. People come with various issues, problems and things to share with me - ranging from requests for baptismal certificates (new ones or duplicates), confessions, spiritual advise, to purchase books or other religious articles, to register their intention of marriage (prenuptial investigation), to ask for Holy Mass, to seek help in their daily life problems etc...


So, this is more or less what I did today. Just finished a few minutes ago registering prenuptial investigation of one mature couple who have just decided to regulate their status by getting married in Church. And they are older than me. Wise decision, I must say. Very pleasant folks, I know them for many years, so hard to convince them to straighten their things up. I guess the marriage of their daughter to one military officer in our field artillery camp in Kiabakari made them think hard and convince them that the time is up for them too to get sorted out.

My main task today was to register in Baptismal Register all those who I baptized last Sunday in Nyamikoma outstation. This is a dark side of all sacramental services and pastoral work in the parish. This HOLY BUREAUCRACY. I reckon, this is one responsibility of a parish priest which I dread most - to sit for hours in the office to painstakingly enter name after name with all relevant data and making sure all are correct and I do not make mistakes.

So, this is what I did today since right after morning Mass till now, but I succeeded! All the name and all their data are in the Baptismal Register. Tomorrow and the day after I will try to issue all baptismal certificates and enter their records into Index of Names (a register of baptismal names, like a huge alphabet, where every new baptized person is registered under her/his name; if the name is completely new, then I open a new tab with this name and enter the record of the baptism of that person). This Index comes very handy when someone comes to the office and does not know the details of her/his Baptism. So, I look up in the Index and check under her/his Baptismal name if there is a record of her/his Baptism in fact. Then it is easy as along with the name of the Baptized, we enter in the Index of Names also the names of parents and the date of birth with the number of Baptismal record. Once I get hold of that person in the Index, then I look for the number of Baptismal record and all the remaining data are there in one place in Baptismal Register.

Still, I prefer to get trashed and exhausted during Liturgy of Baptism of huge numbers of catechumens that to sit alone in the office, bored to death, entering their records in proper books...Ahhh, so exciting...NOT!





Yet I know, that I have to do it right, I have to precise, I have to fulfill my duty, I have to be focused, otherwise people may get all sorts of problems if their Baptismal record is missing, or data incorrect or some other mistakes occurred out of our negligence mainly or reckless registering procedures one of us sets for himself in his parish, thus giving his successors or parishioners looking for their Baptismal Certificates real headache! (Disclaimer - the picture to the left is NOT my office! Just an example how office may look like if one does not care...)







This HOLY BUREAUCRACY in the Holy Mother Church is nothing else but a sign of love and respect to the People of God. And a source of peace of mind, knowing that my records are safe and correct and I do not have to worry whenever I need a certificate of my Baptism or any other received Sacrament. They are all there...

It getting dark already. Now off to fight with bees that assaulted the church and swarm around trying to build a house for themselves. Sorry, guys, I may think about keeping bees in an orderly manner one day, but today you've got to move on!

Day off

How convenient that my weekly day off is on Mondays. It comes very handy today as I feel trashed and physically and psychologically exhausted by last week's challenges, work and responsibilities. The voice of reason demanded in full voice deep down in me:

I needed to get out of Kiabakari and drive to Musoma to take my mind off things, even if only for just a few hours. So, right after morning Holy Mass and quick breakfast, got my bag with laptop and drove to Musoma. Checked post office box if there was any new mail (none, sadly, today!). So, I said to myself: 'What a heck, let's do it! Let's have a day off!'


Well, don't get me wrong! My idea of day off has nothing in common with Ferris Bueller's idea of day off in that famous movie:

 

Then drove here to my favourite restaurant, with shaded open space and - what is most important - power socket near my favorite table, so I can plug in my laptop and work in peace, undisturbed by anyone, as I am always alone on Monday mornings here.

Later on I expect a colleague of mine to join me for lunch as we need to plan summer holidays schedule. Many of us, Polish missionaries, go for holidays to Europe (it just occurred, unfortunately, this year that most of us go, and this causes a lot of thinking and planning what to do with Mass schedules in their parishes etc...). So, he needs my help in his parish, which I am willing to do, obviously, as the reciprocity rule binds us naturally - you go, I will help you. When I go, you will help me either.

So, here I am in this open shaded area, sipping Africafe coffee and enjoying calm environment with noone around.

And I may go for Nile perch grilled fillet with boiled potatoes and veg salad for lunch. Fish from Lake Victoria is ranking high among the finest and tastiest fish species around the globe. Yummy!

Enjoying my day off immensely today... So, next time you feel trashed, exhausted, worn out, burned out....

Pentecost Sunday

Just came back from Nyamikoma outstation. Today, apart from normal Sunday schedule of two Holy Masses in the shrine in Kiabakari and one Holy Mass in one of the nine outstations in Kiabakari Parish, that last Mass was combined with Baptisms of 130 school kids and adults from three oustations of Kyanyari Center of our parish - Nyamikoma, Mwibagi and Nyakiswa.

The first Holy Mass in the shrine was ornamented with inculturation elements - Gospel procession with seven ladies from Catholic Women League in the parish dancing liturgical dance and preceding the lad y dressed as Our Lady carrying on her head a clay pot (used here for drinking water) wrapped in white linen and inside it there was a Holy Scripture. The ladies were carrying on their heads small clay pots with redhot charcoal and incence inside, making it to look like fire tongues dancing on their heads protected by head wrap. On each pot there was a name of one of the gifts of the Holy Spirit. The meaning of the lady dressed as Our Lady with that big clay pot for drinking water - Our Lady brought us Jesus, who is Living Water. His Word is Living Water. The pot means the womb of Our Lady, the white linen her Virginity, and the Holy Scripture - Jesus who is a Living Word of God.

People were cheering wildly excited by this unusual display of well thought inculturation element in the Mass - singing along and clapping happily their hands. Upon the arrival of ladies to the steps of the sanctuary, I bowed in respect and took the Bible from inside the clay pot which the lady dressed as Our Lady took of her head and hold in her hands in front of me. I kissed the Bible and blessed the congregation. People made the sign of the cross.

The second inculturation element in that first 7am morning Mass was the prayer of the faithful. Altar servers brought in front of the altar a big thurible with a charcoal stove inside. Chosen Christian were lined at the steps of the sanctuary and came in twos. One was reading prepared beforehand intention of the prayer and the second, upon the first one finishing reading, put a tablespoon of incense on charcoal and pleasant fragrance of incense and smoke rose to the sky, as a sign of our prayers accepted by God. There were six different intentions, so altogether there were six couples of Christians from various parochial groups and movements. Saint Gemma Galgani Choir sang response and all followed...

During all Masses today we had a special collection for Lay Apostolate upkeep in the parish and the diocese. This time I stood in the middle with a basket and people were coming to donate for this cause. This idea of me being there instead of the secretary of the lay parish council was not a bad one as we got twice the usual amount people tend to donate for various causes throughout the liturgical year.

The second Holy Mass is mainly for youth and children, but without incence and inculturation elements we had in the first Mass.

Immediately after the second Holy Mass we set off to Nyamikoma - with two sisters, lay leaders and altar servers. We arrived there at 5.15am, first thing was to make sure that all catechumens were there, gave them special forms with which they would come to me during Baptism Liturgy, thus making sure all heads are accounted for. Then I sat for confessions. Godparents and 'normal' penitents came in good number. It took me 1 hour 15 minutes to hear all confessions. We started Mass at 12.30pm. The small chapel was packed incredibly with twice as many people outside. The Holy Mass lasted for four hours. I thought in one moments during baptismal liturgy that I would faint of dehydration and heat. People at windows and in doors, no air circulation, temperature inside around 40 Centigrades and me fully clad in liturgical vestments...

But eventually all went very well, I introduced to the Holy Mother Church some 130 new members. The joy was incredible. People singing, dancing, ululating, shouting, smiling, excited to the brink of explosion!

Here are some pictures and one video clip from the Holy Mass in Nyamikoma today. I came back home at 5.15pm, hungry, thirsty, dead tired after a long day, but very happy and satisfied! The Holy Spirit came and created us anew!

Penitents queuing for confessions before the Holy Mass in Nyamikoma outstation

The faithful waiting for the beginning of the Mass, no place for them inside the chapel

Anna from Mwibagi outstation was pumped up already before even Mass started!

My old 'outstation use only' altar missal

The first Reading

Baptisms underway...

Godparents busy at the paschal candle (do not get fooled by the year on the stand of the candle - it was the stand I made and used in 1999 during a special pilgrimage of paschal candle in the parish as part of preparations for Great Jubilee 2000; I still use it for liturgical purposes like today)

Kids fascinated by the lighting of baptism candles by godparents!

New Christians proudly presenting their baptismal candles

Gifts of altar offered during offertory procession in the Holy Mass - whatever people can share from their crops and orchards