Getaway

Time has come to get away from Kiabakari to focus on work which needs silence and seclusion. Living alone as a parish priest in Kiabakari makes for a life of never-ending saga of 'hodi hodi' (verbal announcement of someone who comes to the house in need of seeing someone, most probably me) disrupting my mental flow and rendering my work impossible.

That is why I used opportunity to escort my visitor and volunteer, Anna (flying back to Poland via Dubai today) to the airport, to use the next six days for solitary paperwork as I await the representative of Polish Ministry of Foreign Affairs to fly in next Friday to Mwanza to begin her monitoring of our projects and participation in seminars in our health center. I look forward to her arrival as I never had any bad experiences with those people, to the contrary, so far I found that very smart, bright, creative, easy going, friendly and compassionate people are employed in our Foreign Ministry who come to visit us in Kiabakari.

I remember all such occasions and feel proud and grateful to our government that they keep in touch with us, Poles, living in working abroad, in particular in Africa. Thus making me believe that I leave permanent hallmarks of what we as individuals and as a nation have the best to offer to Africa and Tanzania in particular.

Moreover, it is totally different to hear or read about Kiabakari than to visit it personally and see with one's own eyes what Kiabakari is all about. The pictures of this year's development projects I was posting on Foundation Kiabakari or mine timelines do not do justice to the immense effort we put in its completion and the level of professionalism we were able to achieve with our primitive tools and using only local task force.

The Bishop Msonganzila of Musoma was speechless, District Commissioner as well. And I hope the lady from our Foreign Ministry will be glad and satisfied that their money were spent well in such a professional and spectacular and aesthetic manner.

I have never felt more burnt out and exhausted like now. And I have never felt more proud, happy and satisfied like now as well.

Faith and Good Deeds. This was and is our motto in Kiabakari inspired by the motto of our diocesan synod underway in Musoma Diocese.

As I say 'see you soon!' to Anna, I look forward to the next wave of visitors. Our Foundation Kiabakari logo displays an open inviting door. This is also a statement of the reality in Kiabakari. Open to everybody with no-nonsense approach to life, responsibilities, people and tasks in hand.

The Abyss Of Silence

My blogging has become more and more difficult to me these days. No wonder why the pace of updating you with my life, work, thoughts, reflection, narration of the daily life in Kiabakari - has become a trickle instead of a river like steady flow of communication. It is not that I have run out of ideas or inspiration. Not at all. The real problem, as I see it and as I would like to phrase it, would be a growing need of silence in me. The more I get involved in the daily struggle in Kiabakari, parochial and spiritual life of my community, demands of various projects and challenges at hand, needs of my volunteers, groups, movements, parochial institutions and individuals - the more I desire to dive deeper into the abyss of silence and pure presence of the Real One. I know that I cannot completely detach myself from the demands of my active life, my duties and responsibilities, not yet at least, but the thought I had in me, persistent to the extent of consulting my spiritual director in my first year in the seminary to discern this spirit if it was good or bad (and he said it came from the evil spirit, because I was destined to the active service in the Church), is coming back to me in full force, thirty years after, pushing me to desire contemplative life in all its fullness and uncompromising nature. For some time, let's say - four years - this thought is ever present in me. And I wonder, if this is what will happen to me in the future, living the last part of my life in total seclusion and silence. I don't know, I will need real discernment and help from professionals in these matters, but I do not say 'no' upfront to it. I accept this notion and if God wants me there, I guess I will be ready. Please, pray for me so His Will be done, not mine.