The Day After

Nah, it won't be about the pill. Just about the syndrome I suffer from whenever doing or going through something that demands a lot of physical or psychological input on my side to accomplish. This syndrome of feeling like trash, feeling shallow, feeling empty, feeling sad 'the day after' has been haunting me since I can remember...

On the day of accomplishing something important, whatever it may be - a long term project, construction work, social event which demanded a lot of effort and preparations, stress and tension, or something that was desired but did not entirely depended on myself only and finally happened or realized, whatever it may be - it feels so good, so relieving, so great, this rush of adrenaline, this warm sensation of satisfaction filling the mind, heart and soul... True happiness, genuine reward for an accomplishment...

Then the silver (or should I say - dark) lining of this state emerges the next day (it may take few days as well, if the struggle to accomplish something took particular effort from me)... The dark side of the feeling of being on the moon, or in the seventh heaven... This ugly syndrome of 'the day after'... Sudden flow of sadness, emptiness, loneliness, you name it...and mental and psychical tiredness encompassing my whole self... it's just like running empty on batteries or feeling burnt out...

It is difficult to function properly and react to coming challenges and dispense my responsibilities and duties in this state of mind, soul and body... And I cannot do anything about it. I just have to let it last and go by its own propulsion... The only thing I could do is to go somewhere and rest for aday or two, if I had a luxury of free time to do so, or to bite my lip (as I am doing now) and go with a flow trying to function as best as possible, hoping this 'thing' will pass as quickly as possible...


So, this is exactly what I've been through since yesterday evening...This gloomy mood of mental and physical tiredness and hollowness after hectic time in Poland and first few days here in Kiabakari, setting things right, that settled in and encompassed me and keeps me tight in its grip...Oh, how I dislike this syndrome... But, as I said, I can do nothing about it, just be patient, endure and wait till it goes away itself, while doing what I have to do. Right now it is a monthly meeting with Catechetical Council of the Parish, beginning in an hour, getting ready for the Confirmation Mass on Saturday September 4th, with Bishop presiding. A lot of things to talk about and plan... Wish me luck!