This is a faint smile, calm and lifeless...smile born of a well spent time and the feeling that I did everything I could humanely possible to tick off one by one all items on the shortlist of things to do during those three or four weeks since I came back from Poland...
The leading feeling is of immense gratitude to God for His blessings and power to make all things happen as they happened indeed. One of the most demanding periods of my life it has been, for sure. The sense of responsibility and duty kept me going against all odds. And now, this afternoon, I felt sick and went to our health center to check for malaria. I was pretty sure I had but wanted to check anyway before I take any pills which will continue to destroy my liver. And there it was, not very acute malaria, but still malaria, and the dose is the same. The antimalarial drugs are like those merciless sentinels from 'The Matrix' movie...I have taken two hours ago first two pills and already feel how their impact on my liver...
Anyway, the satisfaction of well spent time, creeping slowly in my heart and mind is a welcoming feeling in this situation. But forgive me... A listless smile is all I can offer to you now... Still, better than tears of helplessness...
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