Deep Sigh

Tough afternoon upon my return from Mwanza trip. Felt down, felt worn emotionally and physically, felt I needed to detach myself from sisters and work for a few, at least, hours. Locked myself in the room, deep in my thoughts. Things coming at me, making me feel cornered and overwhelmed. More and more every day... Then time came to celebrate the Eucharist with my sisters. Got myself tidied up and went to the house chapel for the Mass. The time for Consecration came, then Doxology, then Holy Communion and Thanksgiving song. Thoughts, deep sigh, opening up to Him. I prayed to Merciful Jesus, surrendering myself and the whole situation, the past, the present and the future, helplessly and unconditionally to his power and might and wisdom. The prayer of Thomas Merton was appropriate and timely at that moment, yet I preferred to stay silent opening myself to the Lord who knows everything and knows the remedies and ways out of everything that worries me and all those questions that have no answers... He knows. And I believe though deeply troubled and worried, that He will deliver. In due time.