Apart From Those Things...

In an hour or so it will be time to go to the other side of the Divine Mercy Hill and celebrate the morning Mass for sisters who are continuing with their annual retreat. The first reading of today's liturgy is an outburst of sincerity of Saint Paul, a big bang of emotions and straightforwardness. I love his frankness and the way he puts things in a passionate way. The last passage of the Second Letter to Corinthians strikes me exceptionally hard: "And apart from these things, there is the daily pressure upon me of my anxiety for all the churches. Who is weak, and I am not weak? Who is led to sin, and I am not indignant? If I must boast, I will boast of the things that show my weakness".


These words touch me on a personal level. Particularly in times when I am sick, like now. But the weaknesses of which Saint Paul boasts are not only the physical ones, as he speaks about the daily pressure of his anxiety for all the churches...

I may not be in charge of all churches like him, just this tiny mission of Kiabakari in the middle of nowhere in East Africa.

But to me, each of my dearly loved ones and friends is like a whole church, like a whole unique universe...

Thus the daily pressure of my anxiety for my mission, for people, institutions, projects, pastoral care of the community and all its members, in particular weak and vulnerable, for my loved ones, relatives, friends and all those who come asking for help, intercessions, prayers - is overwhelming and intimidating at times...

If I did not have my tiny faith that above all of us there is the One who loves us and takes care of us, this daily pressure would have killed me long time ago... As the Responsorial Psalm of today's liturgy proclaims: " I sought the LORD, and he answered me and delivered me from all my fears".

At the end of the day, when I look at myself and the daily pressure of my anxiety for all who I love, respect and care for, I can only kneel down during the Consecration of bread and wine and whisper - 'Jesus, I trust in You!'...