Confidence

Sitting in the church in the morning, ready to to offer penitential service to anyone who wanted to reconcile himself/herself with God before the Holy Mass, I had an ample time, as always in those minutes preceding the liturgy, to think about the importance of the gift of listening to others and the gift of total confidence and privacy, so basic, so important in my vocation, and yet - in any relationship between people.
When I was in major seminary in Kraków, I asked once my spiritual director what I should pray for in regards to the sacrament of reconciliation? What is that he could suggest to me to help me be a good confessor. His answer startled me. He said - 'pray for the gift of forgetting what you've just heard in the confession, so when you leave the confessional, you leave everything there and go with clear, happy head'.

So I prayed for this gift. I God listened to my prayer and I can say now, after twenty two years of sitting in the confessional and hearing to people's confessions, that indeed, when I finish confessions, all I heard stays behind me, in the confessional. It is such a great gift! It helps so much to preserve wonderful relationships with people I have just relieved from bonds of sin. You can tell me anything, the gravest ever sin imaginable, once we are through the healing process and confession, things I learned in the confessional will not affect my attitude towards you and my relationship with you. They remain behind the sealed door of the sacrament.

There is another gift I cherish greatly. The gift of listening to others. It is helpful in the confessional, but also in any conversation. In our world everybody is talking, writing, sharing. But so few are ready to keep quiet, be attentive and listen to others. I prayed for this gift too and still do pray. I cannot say I am perfect listener, but believe, I prefer to listen than to talk. And sometimes it is a half of healing to let someone to open, to share with and talk without interrupting or looking impatiently at a watch. I love listening to people who want to share with me their secrets, their feelings, emotions, worries, projects of their lives...

This gift must be accompanied by another one I always was striving  for and still do. The gift of total confidence in me. This is absolutely crucial virtue in my opinion. I take it as a reason to be proud if people confide with me trusting that I will keep it only to myself, just like in the confession. A seal of silence and confidence, total privacy and respect for secrets of others is of paramount importance to me and will always be.

These three gifts - gift of forgetting people's dark sides, gift of listening and gift of confidence - are so much needed in our world. I will pray always to God to keep these gifts alive in me for the sake of people who feel lonely and have no one to speak to, have no one to trust completely...

This is the most important thing I pray to God in relationships with people surrounding me. Their total confidence and trust in me. And my living to their expectations - becoming a deep well which accepts everything and does not anything let out...