Judas' Loneliness

What struck me tonight, while celebrating the Holy Mass of the Last Supper was the loneliness of Judas setting off in to the night. And no one followed, no one asked questions, no one got a hunch that something was wrong. But when mother of Zebedee sons came to Jesus asking for a favor of making them his closest ministers in a future government, the Apostles were very vigilant and quick in reacting...


Is it in our nature that we are sensitive to someone else's success, promotion, achievement to which we react strongly with resentment, jealousy, hatred at times, trying to bring the person in question down with smear campaign, bad press, undermining her/his good intentions and the size of the achievement?

And at the same time we do not care when a neighbor falls down, showing signs of weakness along the way. We don't care, we don't bother, saying only when it was already too late that 'we knew that it would happen'...

How many vocations have been lost this way, due to this devilish indifference of ours? How many priests fell down and left priesthood, when people around him knew about his problems for long  and did nothing to help him?

What about lost religious vocations, of nuns who left the sisterhood, while her fellow sisters knew she had problems, she needed help and none was available to her?

What about broken marriages, friendships, apostasies, fallen Christians? They rarely live in solitude, they usually are surrounded by relatives, friends, live in communities... Yet they fall in solitude, setting off into the dark night of betrayal or spiritual death in loneliness as Judas... And later on those who allowed for this to happen wrote in the Gospel that they knew Judas was a thief and was taking money out of their coffers... Yeah, in retrospect everything can be explained...

I shared my thoughts with my community during homily and noticed how quiet it was when I was speaking, how low their heads were bent... I guess it touched them and they felt connection with this topic...

Time to take major decisions and act like we should - as Christians who know how to enjoy someone else's success and use it for the common benefit. And on the other hand - to know how to be vigilant and help weak members when they begin to falter and fall so they can be helped in time...